An IC throughline quick SP1 encode

writing
#1

Just wanted to recap on the IC throughline so see if I have it right:

SP1: Memory

State of Being
Situation
Circumstances
Sense of Self

So!

SP1: Memory:
Peter (IC) influences other characters (but particularly the MC) to remember something by the actions he takes OR Peter remembers something important and makes a booking at his favourite Michelin star restaurant to celebrate the anniversary of his last divorce.

State of Being: Peter demands a perfectly cooked steak be made for him at the Michelin starred restaurant (implying his ego is big) where the MC works. The MC cooks the steak and she gets nervous that he will not be happy no matter what kind of streak he gets.

MC cooks Peter’s steak.

Situation: Peter is not happy with the quality of the meat the restaurant has served him, and makes a massive scene in the restaurant, which brings utter embarrassment to the MC and all the guests start talking and complaining as well.

MC comes out to calm Peter down and explain the meat is fresh.

Circumstances: Upon finding out that the MC took delivery of the meat that morning, Peter starts questioning the circumstances of the kitchen. Was the fridge cold enough, was the cooking temperature the perfect temperature. Everyone starts getting annoyed and finally the MC chef yells at Peter to pack up and leave immediately.

Sense of Self: On the way out the door, Peter has a heart attack. They all look at the MC as the guilty party who brought on Peter’s heart attack, and the MC worries that maybe the meat killed him…(only later does everyone find out that actually, Peter was heading for a heart attack anyway due to blocked arteries and chronic stress levels).

Feel free to critique encoding :slight_smile:

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#2

So here’s how I’m seeing this.

Objective view-By remembering a divorce with celebration, the IC influences the MC to lash out causing the MC to get blamed for ICs heart attack.

Subjective View-Because of the IC, the MC sees the IC as a jerk, sees herself with the situation of an angry customer, gets annoyed with the customer causing a scene in her restaurant (I don’t know that I’d point to the state of the kitchen to illustrate circumstances), and blames herself or refuses to blame herself for the ICs heart attack.

I’m thinking the way the IC handles Memory influences the IC as a Concern. But the PSR is more about how the IC influences the MC in regards to how the MC sees the PSR elements. Does that make sense?

In my opinion, it pretty much works.

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#3

I agree with Greg!

One thing to add, it feels like maybe you could make Memory a little stronger here; remembering the divorce is mentioned at the beginning but doesn’t seem to carry through the scene. (Or was it supposed to be that his memories of his wife/divorce are what’s making him act like a total jerk?)

Anyway, it wouldn’t take much, like maybe here:

Peter starts questioning the circumstances of the kitchen. Was the fridge cold enough, was the cooking temperature the perfect temperature

Maybe he’s actually asking did the MC forget to do X, did the staff forget to do Y, is the MC sure he put the meat in the fridge or is he misremembering, that kind of thing.

Oh and I guess part of the outcome of the scene is that everyone is going to remember the MC’s restaurant as the place where Peter had a heart attack. Maybe that’s what you were already going for!

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#4

“due to…”

Incidental humor, unintentional? The meat did kill him to a big portion of the audience. I’d just make it the ‘meal’ not meat. Maybe, he can be remembering his ex wife acting a certain way or complaining about it to someone else earlier so the audience would see the cook had the same traits?

#5

Yes! Thank you! I really enjoyed reading your take on it. That you pointed out the objective view and the subjective view is also interesting because earlier in the day, I had read this thread where Dral52 was talking about the objective and subjective perspectives and how (s)he sees Dramatica.

So, again, thank you for your feedback.

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#6

It was that his memories of the marriage and getting a divorce that got him to go to that Michelin starred restaurant was all that I had focussed on, tbh. And, in the course of the scene, we see what a jerk he is - thus answering the question of why he got a divorce in the first place. The State of Being (his big ego) kicked that scene off.

But, I see what you and @Greg are saying in that I should probably illustrate it in a way that stirs the MC’s memories a bit more. Thank you!

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#7

Good point. Thank you!

Yes, a tad bit of humor at the end there :wink: Just decided to throw it in at the last minute to keep it fun.

I outlined this scene in about 10 minutes so I hadn’t considered the MC’s role too much. I wrote it as a way to wake up my synapses, get myself in the IC mode and to practice some encoding (I’ve been travelling a lot lately and feel a bit rusty). Besides, I have to work extra hard to get the the IC perspective because it’s not a natural writing mode for me.

All the feedback has been very helpful. I know where I have rejig things now.

#8

Yes, you’re right - I’ll have to look at the Circumstances part again. Looking at Subtext, these are some of the gists: having a high standing; being in a catch-22 situation; being second-class; being poorly positioned for something; being shunned.

The straight definition for Circumstances is: the relationship of oneself to the environment

I’ll take a closer look at the definitions going forward. Thanks for pointing that out.

#9

From what you have, I’d say this could apply to either character. Either he IC feels he has a high standing that allows him to be a jerk, or the MC has a high standing in the restaurant and doesn’t want that ruined by some demanding jerk.

#10

It’s funny that you point out:

I often find I have that symbiotic relationship going on between the IC and MC. So, the IC and MC will often share the appreciation. It just happens for me that way - I don’t intend for it to happen.

Perhaps I eventually need to practice separating them a bit more. Or, I just need to make it a point to show the effect the IC has on the MC in a direct manner.

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#11

It happens for me a lot, too…usually because I have no idea what to do so I just throw in everything I can think of and hope something sticks. Haha.

#12

LOL!!

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#13

The one Circumstances gist that really stood out for me for your scene was “getting a sense of a crowd’s mood”.

I think as long as you have the IC impacting / influencing the MC around the IC’s story points, the fact that you see both of them sharing the appreciation is wholly natural. Perfect, in fact – it’s basically the IC’s entire purpose!

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#14

Cool!!!

And ‘getting a feel of the crowd’ gist is a really good one, I agree. A scene in a restaurant could go along way with that kind of gist.

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