Welcome to the party! I saw it for the third time about a week ago (preceding Infinity War, which -- without spoilers -- might just break this board at the seams if an analysis is attempted...),
The storyform we agreed on was: Changed; start; be-er; linear; action; optionlock; success; good; physics; obtaining; attitude; oppose.
This was the big sticking point. I also believed that this was how it went at first. But Killmonger's attitude is more 'big picture' -- everyone has an attitude about what should be done with the vibranium: do we keep it, do we give it to the oppressed, or do we take it and sell it on the black market?
Killmonger's influence stems from his position in the universe -- he's an abandoned Wakandan of royal blood. Look at the scene before the council (just after he drags Klaue's body in): they don't really listen to his position on things, don't take him seriously. It's only when he announces himself as the son of N'Jobu that suddenly everyone takes notice, and starts listening to him. And, similarly, it's not so much his attitude that influences T'Challa as much as the fact that they're related.
That's A problem, but I'm not sure it's THE problem. Here's a better question: could you define the goal as one of 'Understanding'?
But is that causing conflict for him? He's not fighting his destiny, really. It seems, for him, to be more of an issue of these unrealistic expectations that are placed upon him (of his own making): that he can't live up to his father (who he's, again, created a false image of), that he can't be a good king, can't live without his father.
It is, but that's not a problem in itself. The fact that the world cannot SEE Wakanda isn't really a problem. It's the way things have always been. The problems are coming from people's opposition to the idea of Wakanda helping those around the world (for good or bad). That's why you get M'Baku's tribe challenging for the throne, and Killmonger trying to take over, etc. I can't think of an example of senses other than the one you described.
I'd be open to hearing an argument, though, if you have one.