Been working on a story for months, turning it over and over, approaching it from different perspectives and after countless versions, settled on something I think is as simple and contained as I can make it. Before I rework the characters and plot, I’d like to make sure I’m running on the right storyform.
Could somebody give me a critique of my choices, or offer any insight / ideas? Many thanks!
A sheriff, married to a man with a violent past, finds a detective in her office who’s spending his retirement years searching for a serial killer. The detective doesn’t know the identity of the man he’s searching for, but the sheriff does and tries her best to throw him off of her husband’s trail. When she realizes it’s no use, she must chose between helping her husband kill the detective, or turn herself and her husband in. In the end, she orders her husband to stop, but when he turns on her, kills him in self-defence.
MC: The Sheriff
IC: The Detective
- MC RESOLVE: Change: The Sheriff stops protecting her husband.
- MC GROWTH: Stop: The Sheriff stops the charade.
- MC APPROACH: Be-er: The Sheriff pretends like everything’s fine in her life, hooks the Detective up with her older sister (plays the matchmaker) and tries to distract him from his never ending investigation.
- MC PROBLEM-SOLVING STYLE: Holistic: The Sheriff focuses on distracting the Detective in the hopes he’ll drop the case.
- DRIVER: Action: The story begins with the arrival of the detective and ends with the death of her husband.
- LIMIT: Optionlock: The Sheriff runs out of ways to throw the Detective off of her husband’s track and is forced to make a decision, kill the detective, or end the charade.
- OUTCOME: Failure: The Sheriff fails to throw the Detective off of her husband’s trail
- JUDGMENT: Bad: The Sheriff ends up exposed and vulnerable and will probably end up in jail.
OS STORY POINTS:
- OS DOMAIN: Manipulation: The Sheriff and her Husband ponder over how far are they willing to go to protect their freedom while the Detective questions for how much longer can he continue with his search and when he meets the Sheriff’s sister, even contemplates what it would be like to settle down
- CONCERN: Developing a Plan: Everyone is concerned with what are they going to do with their lives, how far are they willing to go, etc.
- ISSUE: Circumstances vs. Situation While struggling with their sense of purpose & belonging (being in a relationship / not being in a relationship, protecting loved ones, finding someone to love), the characters are faced with how things really stand in the world (a bloody trail of murder victims, countless laws broken in a number of countries, etc.).
- PROBLEM: Inequity Laws were broken, lives were taken, justice has not been served and people are being deceived.