My turn? What should I choose to use the above?
I’m not sure. What about the MC Concern - Coming up with a High Concept (Conceiving)? Could that be related to diplomacy or a Harvard education or something like that? Trying to conceive of or get others to conceive of some high concept idea?
? Her father was a professor at Harvard, and she always wants to give the world a high standard way of doing things. She is aways concerned if she is not very serious and careful about the way she approaches things, people won’t take her seriously.
Hmm… I’m not sure I get Conceiving from that … (I also feel like we’re losing the “Donna” feel, being serious and careful, but that’s totally cool if that’s what you’re going for)
Just throwing out ideas here… Is it possible her father taught her how important it is to be able to inspire people, to influence people on the level of their ideas? Sort of like the salesman who can sell ice to an Eskimo; that’s in the realm of Conceiving, and that kind of ability would be very helpful in diplomacy…
Off and on, I’ve done temp and regular office work since 1963, and in legal offices too. I always saw Donna as serious and careful…haha. She is very careful about doing what is necessary for success, before anyone realizes what is needed. You might say she conceives of what will be needed and deals with it, before the problem develops [much].
Yes, Lawanda feels a responsibility to inspire and influence people to conceive of a higher standard of life. Her father was a professor at Harvard, and she cannot conceive of a life without his high-class standards of appealing to people’s ideas. She keeps track of everyone’s ideas, and conceives of what will be needed for them to achieve success.
close?
I think you’re getting close! But how does this cause personal issues for her? How is it a problem?
She stopped living her own life?
Others think she is looking down on them?
She doesn’t know how to have fun and can’t conceive doing something just for fun anymore.
She is so busy staying ahead of all the problems she doesn’t confide in anybody anymore.
More? I did have a good idea and then I lost it before I could write it down, but hopefully it’ll come to me later.
This is the combination I feel like encodes the point and the problem the best. Although I’d like to see how it relates to her situation in the post-acopalypse more. What is considered a high standard of life in the PA? Does she feel like it’s necessary to have fun and can’t conceive of it? Or does she think there’s no use for fun in the PA?
It may not be a good idea to talk about that yet. Might drag too much OS along with it. But i’m having a little trouble connecting to this throughline at the moment.
It’s just she’s too serious about everything, and Clay’s sense of humor teaches her to have (allow) some humor in her diplomacy. So, I’m backtracking for the problem. Brilliant creativity escapes me.
Maybe, people don’t want to talk to her as much because she is growing so serious in wanting them to accept a high standard in dealings, as they work to start a new world/culture?
Maybe I should just do another one? I’m lost.
I don’t think you should do another one. I think you have an illustration of the story point, although this High Concept thing thing alludes me a bit. This whole throughline, at the moment, seems to be alluding me, in fact.
It seems her High Concept is about a certain standard of living. I’m just trying to connect with how that standard is playing out in the post-apocalypse specifically and how that is a problem.
Just taking from what you’ve got, others think she is looking down on them and she doesn’t confide in anyone else. Possibly because they think having any such standards is ridiculous in a post apocalyptic world. I can see that being a problem. She tries to maintain this standard that others think is a waste of time and resources and it causes others to think that she thinks she’s above them, so nobody listens to her or takes her seriously about anything. Or they don’t think that people like her will make it in the apocalypse.
It is about a certain standard of acting, action, not standard of living as we use it economically in our culture today.
I have to laugh when I think back at my husband telling me my father told him that I was a killjoy when we would come to visit. Now I wonder if that’s common with writers across the board and their relationships with family members…haha that was what I was thinking. I can refine this later.
Fair enough. I’m thinking about my turn still, or @jassnip, you can go if you’re ready. I’ll be busy the next several hours.
MC SIGNPOST 1: Masquerading as Something
Lawanda knows the only way to be accepted into what appears to be the last living colony is to pretend to still be fertile. They take her in and treat her well at first, but then she realizes that she doesn’t get to choose who or how she helps to repopulate the earth. If the colony finds out she’s infertile, she could be kicked out of the colony…or worse.
Hi Greg, I think this is great on its own, but it has been previously established that Lawanda’s sister Lena is the Colony Director, and that Lawanda is Lena’s secretary. So, I’m not sure how this works with that … do Lena and Lawanda both join the colony together in Signpost 1 and then Lena works her way up to Director quickly?
Or wait, is a lot of what you wrote just backstory (happened sometime before the story starts) that explains why she’s masquerading as fertile? If so, I can see how that works … newcomers aren’t generally allowed to join the colony unless they’re fertile (thanks to the influence of the fertiles) … and if it was far enough in the past it would give Lena time to become Director.
Or maybe (I like this a lot better), Lena and Lawanda were not together during the apocalypse, and Lawanda only found the colony after searching for Lena? This is kinda cool … I can picture a scene with Lena telling Lawanda, “look, I know you’re my sister but even though I’m Director I can’t make an exception for you … you better you hope you test as fertile or I’ll have to send you packing…”
Hey @Gregolas and @Prish, great job narrowing down the essence of Prish’s MC Concern story point there. I think it works pretty good now. This is what I put as a suggestion to @jassnip in the doc, copy/pasted from what you thought was most important:
MC CONCERN: Coming Up with a High Concept Lawanda feels a responsibility to inspire and influence people to conceive of a higher standard of life. But she takes this so seriously that she doesn’t know how to have fun and can’t conceive doing something just for fun anymore. (Prish to possibly add more details of why this is a problem later, but I think it works pretty well. You can imagine her personal struggle, always being left out of fun, trying to help others conceive what she thinks is ‘important’ but unable to ever conceive of fun for herself or its own sake. -Mike.)
Sorry guys…you don’t want to know what my weekend has been like. I’ll nip these up tomorrow and put them in the storyform. Bed is calling me and I still need a shower and it’s midnight…
Mike, good catch. I had forgotten about that. If okay, let’s go with your save. We’ll say Lena found and was part of the colony before Lewanda got there.
Or she knows her sister so well.
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Perfect! I also realize that your MC Signpost 1 hits on MC Issue (needing to lie to be permitted to stay in the colony), Counterpoint (deficiency of being infertile), and MC Problem (the non-acceptance of newcomers causes her some personal difficulties and forces her to lie).
I think this throughline is starting to come together. I love that we managed to have her personal issues be related to both being a recent newcomer to the colony and her problematic relationship with her older sister who’s the Colony Director. And then Prish’s point, her need to interfere in people’s conceptions, makes it impossible for her to just lie low.
Okay, sorry, I’ve been MIA. Mike thank you for pulling over some of the story points into the doc. I think we’re all caught up now.
So here’s mine. It feels obvious to me…but maybe (hopefully) I’m wrong. Thoughts?
OS SIGNPOST 4: Going to the Past - The Lesson the colony learns is that all people have value and that they all sink or swim together. One of the new colony members is an old guy a fertility Dr. from this facility he knows there is a “hidden facility” that has a much larger stockpile, not only of sperm but of eggs. And while the infertile women might not be able to conceive most of them could carry a child to term.
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