Story Assembly -- Putting it all to work

writing
#327

INFLUENCE CHARACTER THROUGHLINE
Sebastian Olivia
SIGNPOST 4: Grasping the Meaning of an Idea

Marybeth is starting to gripe about not being happy, even though promoted. Sebastian sees himself as Marybeth’s ray of sunshine. She always laughed through his dilemma dramas. Sebastian is starting to realize that that Marybeth will never be happy, unless he is with her on the 110th floor to keep her spirits up, so her griping about how he should become more ambitious and organized is making more sense. He takes the job offer of background director and says goodbye to his errand days.

#328

What’s the verdict? Does this work. ok? Or, should I change things?

#329

@jhull has been super busy. This is great for him but require patience for us. Hopefully he’ll get around to us soon.

#330

This is for me but I thought if I needed it others might as well.
(You all make this a lot of fun. I know it has kind of lost it’s momentum but I am learning a lot. I hope we fill in every blank.)
The Participants list (in order) is:

jassnip
Prish
jamjam1794
Spotter
keypayton
Writegeist

Here is the link to Our Story
[Our Story][1]

Sam
[1]: https://www.evernote.com/shard/s1/sh/fa3f5723-af86-47ea-85f2-c831c8c4dd7e/d8fe8f9d5bd68bac558310891e382c8c

#331

I dropped out in September due to my Dad’s rapidly deteriorating health. Now I’m spending all my time driving across states to take care of his estate and things at home. So not participating any more, but following along closely.

#332

Sorry about that. I edited your name out. I hope you are doing well. I am so sorry about your Dad.

First Go w/ Dramatica & I welcome advice
#333

No problem, Sam! My dad’s now in a better place, but I have a lot of work to do as sole trustee. Throw cataract surgery into the middle and it gets very messy. Carry on! :wink:

1 Like
#334

Thanks @SPotter. I always used the little green nav jump thingee in the lower right corner and jumped to post 35. But now I won’t have to! And yes, I think we should try and fill in every last box, just so we can see how relevant some of the information is. I’ve never been able to include everything into a screenplay, but it might be interesting to see how much all this works together.

#335

@Prish this is so close, I really like it … but can you tweak it so Sebastian’s actions influence Marybeth to grasp the meaning of a particular idea? You have it all in there … just need to focus/tweak it a wee bit.

#336

Jim, I’ll mull it over and be back, later.

#337

@jhull Can you please check out my addition too. It’s in message 311 and see if it’s fit for adding. Thanks.

#338

Jim, I’ll wait until you answer jassnip, before I mull it over.

#339

@jassnip that reads really great. Love how you were able to take “Transformed by Someone” and make it about the conflict in being transformed, not merely the two of them transforming into something. Great!

1 Like
#340

How is this so far? Should I tweak some more? (hints welcomed)

I added the last sentence, later. I can remove anything.

INFLUENCE CHARACTER THROUGHLINE
Sebastian Olivia
SIGNPOST 4: Grasping the Meaning of an Idea

Marybeth is starting to gripe about not being happy, even though promoted. Sebastian sees himself as Marybeth’s ray of sunshine. She always laughed through his dilemma dramas. Sebastian is starting to realize that that Marybeth will never be happy, unless he is with her on the 110th floor to keep her spirits up, so her griping about how he should become more ambitious and organized is making more sense. He takes the job offer of background director and says goodbye to his errand days.

His years of studying and searching for Atlantis is turned into using it for background art direction, leading to creating the beauty of Atlantis in the world, for real. He inspires Marybeth to look up into the sky, where taller buildings of beauty will exist, someday, inspired by their work. Marybeth grasps that looking up makes her happy and in control of her life, not controlled by her fear of heights. In turn, she gains vision to lead her team, passing onto all of them that they are creating the visionaries of the future, not just a customer base.

So, Marybeth and Sebastian move animation into an art form, as well as entertainment, for both the common man and the wealthy earth shapers of all cultures.

#341

I like the idea of Marybeth’s fear of heights going from being afraid to look down to being happy to look up. That’s a great parallel, @Prish! I think that could maybe work for her Benchmark of The Preconscious too, right? Her ability to calm her fear by looking in the opposite direction? Or is that slipping too far from the “Startled” gist?

#342

I don’t know, but I just woke up in the middle of the night, thinking, “This is the relationship throughline, so I should tweak Sebastian into the end, more.” Hence, the rewrite of the last sentence, in my previous post. fyi

#343

That is absolutely BRILLIANT. Wow. Very inspiring. See the difference? See how it makes everything come to life. GREAT job. @jamjam1794, the pressure is on …

3 Likes
#344

Mulling it over now, won’t be long.

#345

How is this?

INFLUENCE CHARACTER THROUGHLINE
Sebastian Olivia
SIGNPOST 3: Looking Into the Future of Something

With nothing to show for their work, and with Marybeth continuing her unhappy streak, Sebastian convinces her that they should submit their idea of an Atlantis animation to the executives at the company. But with the strict male grasp within the company, only Sebastian can pitch it to them.

Sebastian’s work on Atlantis is criticised heavily by the executives at the company, who expected something more from him - his intricate and unnecessary attention to detail makes them liken his work to something done by a woman (using this as an insult). This sends Sebastian into another one of his hopeless feelings, and he begins to consider the future of the industry - and just how badly it will end if things don’t change.

#346

Bump
@jhull gentle reminder. We know you are a busy, busy guy. And we appreciate your guidance.