Story Assembly II - another embroidery thread (post-apocalypse!)

writing
#181

Are any or all of these on the right track? I can work on some other. I am bouncing from the Linear Problem Solving story examples in the dram program.

Lawanda formulated a plan to end the babysitter’s manipulation of their parents. The parents thought she was taking care of Lawanda, while her older sister was at school. But she was working on her on-line business, locking Lawanda in her room. Lawanda was little but not a whiner or complainer. She played around with her sister’s computer and learned how to take pictures with it. She clicked on some of the babysitter’s computer keys, which caused a recording of the locking in the room and hours marketing online. Lawanda knew how to put things in her father’s college dropbox even though a tot because he had them practice with it for future college careers. The babysitter never came back and the parens never discussed it.

Lawanda jumped to the conclusion that her sister knew how to deal with the world better because she was older. Lawanda followed her lead from grade school to high school to college, putting aside her preference for a more physical and vocal approach to life.

Lawanda and her sister have been trained to represent the family in the highest stratum of society, continuing a long prestigious family heritage of diplomacy and academia. Lawanda wanted to know if other ways are more productive, so she, also, did volunteer work, without her family knowing, as receptionist and go-to-person for different hard-ass professions, i.e. corrections, investigation, legal, police, martial-arts organizations.

#182

This is turning into a weird apocalypse. Although I suppose that could all be backstory.

I see some linear stuff in there and some stuff I’m not entirely sure about. Providing photo evidence of a babysitters inappropriate behavior seems pretty linear. I’m really clear on the second example. In the third example, if she’s wondering what other professions are more productive, then I guess getting a job in that profession would be pretty linear.

anything else on that point? If not, I’ll take my turn when I can come back.

#183

No, if it’s not fitting the story, I can put something else. I was waiting for some feedback. Can you share with me some of your apocalypse vision so I know how to fit it in?

#184

Prish, after I wrote that, I thought it might have come across more rude and less like the lighthearted comment I meant it to be. If it did come across rude, i apologize. And there’s nothing wrong with what you’re putting. I was just saying that in an apocalypse where we have a colony that thinks it might be the last humans left alive, babysitters and online businesses can seem a bit out of place. It just depends on the apocalypse though. Like I said, it could all be backstory. Maybe that all happened before the radiation or the virus or the zombies or whatever caused this apocalypse. And that’s fine. I suppose what I said was really meant more as a commentary on the different ways people can see the same storyform. Some parts i think we’re all in agreement on and in some ways we see this thing very different. When I read post-apocalypse, I immediately assumed we were deep into this apocalypse, like years or maybe generations down the line. But if our characters had a pre-apocalypse life, then it was a quick apocalypse. Like months, maybe weeks.

I’ll take some time and think about that second and third paragraph of yours, the ones that i’m not sure if I’m getting linear or holistic, and try to figure it out so I can come back with a bit more meaningful discussion than i offered above.

#185

I thought to come up with something not related to the story (so not to interfere with what other people might like to put in…not having too much stuff set in stone, etc.) but something that indicated her linear mode. Like some posters having a hard time with the holistic MC, I have one with the linear. So, I expect to edit all this to achieve linear. I am not attached to any of this, and I can work on a linear example that comes from a different angle.

#186

Gotcha. Makes sense.

I’m not the best at determining linear vs holistic, but as a largely linear thinker, I don’t feel like this part is linear. Maybe it’s the jumping to a conclusion part? If it said that L felt her sister knew how to deal with the world better because she had travelled across Europe with only a backpack or because she’s worked in a homeless shelter or had spent x amount of time in office I think I would get a more linear feel from it. Something about relying on age to supply that knowledge feels more like a pressure point to me than a direct line.

However, “Lawanda followed her lead from grade school to high school to college,” seems more linear, particularly if she felt she had a choice to do otherwise. It’s like she’s thinking ‘since I feel like my sister knows the world better than I do, I can do the same things she’s done so that I will know how to deal with the world the way she does.’

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#187

Sorry for the hiatus, guys. I’m ready to jump back in again.
Have we done much with Tam since booting her out of the IC spot? I’m going to say that, as Guardian, she is the leader of the Martial Arts Practitioners. This seems to go along with the MC Solution. Of letting them practice in secret to protect the project.

#188

I’m still mulling over the linear main character examples, waiting on mlucas’ feedbackbefore doing the final one. Your comments made me remember an artist has a consistent color for a work. Even though I will be putting out info that has nothing to do with the current story plotting, etc., I should make the coloring consistent.

In other words, I don’t see why the next person/s can’t take the turn/s, while I tinker with it.

#189

Hi Prish, regarding the linear examples, I liked the “Lawanda followed her lead from grade school to high school to college,” as Greg mentioned.

Greg, your making Tam into leader of the Martial Arts practitioners sounds great. The only thing I wasn’t sure was how that represents Help and/or Conscience in regards to the story goal of getting pregnant now? I mean it makes sense and I can sort of see it even without an example, but wondering what you see.

#190

I’ve tried not to put too much together yet. But I’m thinking Lawanda’s allowing them to practice in secret means they have to be like a bunch of hidden ninjas. Either they practice martial arts outside the colony walls, which looks like them fighting off people that shouldn’t be there and dangerous animals, which clears the path to the clinic they find, or maybe they follow the group that goes looking for the clinic without that groups knowledge, and when the group find themselves surrounded by a hostile group that doesn’t want to be accepted and only want to take their resources maybe, then the martial artists swoop in and take them out.

Since allowing them to practice is the solution to the MC problem, I see Help coming naturally from their martial arts practices. Because they practice martial arts, maybe they are willing to step between the colony and danger, helping the colony to do what it wants without having to deal with the dangers of the post-apocalypse.

As for conscience, maybe they are willing to fight off dangers, but they aren’t willing to kill which somehow helps the colony decide that everyone is worth saving.

#191

That all sounds great! I could also see Tam Helping people get over mental issues in the post-apocalypse by getting them to adopt martial arts practices too – spiritual exercise, eastern philosophy etc.

#192

That sounds great too. I kinda described the whole group of martial artists as a gaurdian, but I see it stemming from Tam as the leader.

The eastern philosophy makes me assume she’s probably a holistic problem solver which I think could play nicely against Lawandas linear problem solving while allowing Clay to be a linear problem solver if we wanted.

#193

I’m unclear, what am I supposed to add for Prish’s and Greg’s turns? Guidance please?

#194

I don’t know that we have to add all of the example on mine. Just listing Tam as the leader of the martial arts practitioners should be fine.

Maybe just use “Lawanda is methodical and applies logic to everything. She sees what is needed and waits for an opening.” for Prish’s for now so you can take your turn. She can come back and suggest something else when she’s ready. The notes don’t have to be just perfect. I mean, Jim probably hasn’t even started on the animation process for this thing yet. :grin:

#195

Just the following her sister’s lead one. I can come up with one about when her grade school flooded or had a tornado go through unrelated to her sister, if needed. But Lucas seemed to indicate the sister one was enough.

#196

Okay, here’s mine

INFLUENCE CHARACTER UNIQUE ABILITY: Being Required to Do Something - Clay is required to sleep with the women who are ovulating. This includes screwing three women in a row (Magnolia, Lawanda and Jeanne). Clay is actually a “good old boy” and uses crassness(critical flaw) to deflect, both, his emotions and the expectations of others. Uncomfortable with what’s being asked of him, says he’s never done sisters before and he’ll only “do Lawanda and Lena” at the same, time-figuring that will get him out of it.

Again, if anything doesn’t work or y’all just don’t like it let me know and I’ll change things about.

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#197

I like it. I think what you are getting at is that his being required to sleep with all these ovulating women puts him in a unique position to influence Lawanda to change her perspective – if she could see his true gentlemanly nature. But hiding his true nature with his crassness (IC Critical Flaw) blunts his influence on her.

#198

Sure, let’s go with that. :stuck_out_tongue:

#199

MC SIGNPOST 2: Becoming a slave
Dr. Olivia likes Lawanda, and has been willing to keep her secret that she’s not fertile. But when Lawanda tries to get Dr. Olivia to relax limitations on medicine, to treat the elderly and infirm better, this causes trouble for Lawanda. Olivia tells Lena about this and grudgingly tells her that Lawanda’s not fertile either. Lena uses this info to blackmail Lawanda, and Lawanda becomes a slave to Lena because of this.

#200

Nice. I like how it feels like it’s bringing in the journey from SP1, masquerading.

Is there reason to go into details about the her slavery at this point, or is that more storytelling for later? Do you see it as a personal assistant type slave, or is she more of a goon, being sent to do Lenas dirty work? Is Lena blackmailing her into bringing her, Lena, more supplies?