Obviously doing this on the run…thanks for the clarification. Revenge…wouldn’t that still work for his contagonist agenda? Don’t we need to address it?
None of the Benchmarks had been taken. I was asking if you were encoding the OS Benchmark as opposed to the Benchmark for one of the other three through lines.
I think the important parts we have so far are that Clay is a contagonist that can in some way be described as a corpse. There is also a group of women who need to get pregnant now. They revived Clay the contagonist from a cryogenic lab because he was known to be able to…well, be “put to action” as it were. Now, with your addition, he is deteriorating which will make his job and the story goal more difficult.
I like the conscience transferral thing, but I’m with @mlucas in that I don’t see how it fits just yet. It’s getting kind of sci-fi-ish rather than apocalyptic. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t fit. Just another level/direction of story.
I don’t want to move on to my turn until I’m sure all discussion is had and I’ve been called on to do so. @prish, has this cleared it up for you, or do you have any questions?
@mlucas, do you think we need to clarify a bit on the conscience transfer thing or take it as is for now and keep rolling?
@Prish, I feel bad that you didn’t see @mlucas ’ deft handling of the corpse thing. Perhaps if we all put our STORY POINT in capitals and bold it, that’ll help keep it from getting lost. So you would have something like
INFLUENCE CHARACTER BENCHMARK: (blah, blah, blah)
The order for the the sections in the story form (just to make it easier to find stuff) is
CHARACTERS
STORY ENGINE SETTINGS
OVERALL STORY THROUGHLINE
MAIN CHARACTER THROUGHLINE
INFLUENCE CHARACTER THROUGHLINE
RELATIONSHIP THROUGHLINE
ADDITIONAL STORY POINTS
Finally, I have to say I agree, I don’t see how the mental transference works in this context. Developing something along the lines of missing menstruation because of age or health issues might work for the getting older benchmark. It would add urgency, especially in light of the fact that many women’s cycles will synch when they are in close proximity. Anyway, just a suggestion.
Scratch the rot thing. I like that he’s cool and clean. Where in rhe storyform is the contagonist’s separate agenda addressed? I say Revenge.
You could put it here…ISSUE: Having Chemistry with Someone vs. Repulsion
Clay could be gay? 
Cryogenically frozen by his lover who perished in the apocalypse and in revenge he’s refusing to “mate” or share his seed?
1 Like
No. I see this as being screwed over by family or business associates and not being able to move on, i.e. Edmund Kean who became the most renowned actor in the world, but who never got over the pain how he was treated when starting out in the street acting system going town to town of the time period. For all his sucess, he used alcohol to cope with that life long pain, and died of alcoholism. Of course, being a blue sky story person, I want something more upbeat for our characters’ endings. The point being, he was filed away (literally) and has revenge as his agenda, even tho he could feel accomplishment by saving the human race. More in a minute…husband on the phone
Hi @Prish, can you find a story point that fits with those ideas? I think it would have to be one of the OS ones or “additional story points” since he’s not the MC or IC. (though it could perhaps hit on say MC issues, like “acquiescing to something” if she’s forced to acquiesce to his revenge plot – but I think it should be primarily defined as an overall story thing)
Perhaps Story Preconditions of “Hunting” would work – he wants to hunt down the person(s) responsible, or even their descendants (depending on how far into the future it is)? So he makes a “non-essential precondition” – stands his ground and refuses to breed until they help him do that?
I am finding it a bit hard to understand the revenge – does he want revenge for being revived prematurely when his illness hasn’t yet been cured? Or does he want revenge on someone from his “backstory” in the early 21st century? Or both?
There is no place in the storyform for this. But the Contagonist represents Hinder and Temptation from the Motivations Set (not sure about which elements from the Methodologies set). I could certainly see a way of twisting “revenge” into reasons for Hindering the progress to the Goal, and being motivated to do so by Temptation.
Kind of his business associates promised fast cure, and put him under, and took over the company…then wake up and pissed off hindering while assessing payback and takeover agenda. However, to make yours work, how could it be a separate agenda that is unkown? Or is it not always unknown to the protagonist? I like your wake up too early, btw. Back in a few
He’s starting to sound a bit like an antogonist rather than contagonist. Remember, the antagonist wants to stop the goal from being achieved. The contagonist is just making it more difficult.
He’s also starting to sound like a sub story in another form.
Just to get on track, can you answer one of these questions?
- Is there a way to focus on his need for revenge without fleshing out too many details?
- Is there a way to show how his need for revenge is hindering the last fertile women from getting pregnant (rather than actually trying to prevent)?
Even if it doesn’t land on a particular Storypoint, I think it’s still okay to pencil it in as backstory or motivation. Or it might land on the SP dealing with Past or something. I’m not where I can look at the storyform at the moment, but I’m wondering if this revenge can tie in with any of the listed gists or even any of the seven female archetypes listed.
Edit: I may have misread the above post. I suppose “hindering” technically keeps him a contagonist, but I think it would still be good to explain that in a bit more detail. Who is he hindering? How is it tied to either his previous business partners (are there businesses in this apocalypse?) or the current story and/or characters?
1 Like
It would also be good to state how long it’s been since he was cryogenically frozen, since that would inform the type of revenge he wants. (If he’s been frozen for 70+ years, it’s unlikely the culprits are still around.)
He wants revenge for being cheated way back when – so –
he wants proof that what they say is true,
he wants proof of what happened to him
he wants to know what happened to the people that cheated him
all to prepare for his agenda of eventual revenge
(you know, the pissed-off thing before the spouse tosses out a few caustic facts that redirects the massive revenge fantasy into grumbling at a tv show or movie for the night)
proof, which means that someone is going to be spending time (hindering) digging through the archives, coming up with the details for him. There will be some printouts of lost computer information in files, somewhere.
The way I’m reading the conversation, I think we’re looking for a specific Storypoint to be illustrated while @Prish seems to be offering what makes Clay a contagonist.
Can I suggest that we pencil in a motivation of revenge next to Clays name for this one?
Hope it didn’t seem like we were ganging up, Prish. I really think there’s just a disconnect between what you’re illustrating and what we were looking at. Forgive me if I’m wrong.
UNIQUE ABILITY: Permission
Mc gets contag’'s permission
Hi @Prish, did you want to offer any illustration as to how that fits the gist of “Allowing a Particular Group to Do Something” and works towards solving the overall story goal? Or should we just pencil that in and go onto the next story point with @Gregolas’s turn?
I thought I was offering how the mc uses her unique ability to get permission from the contagonist, since it has to happen or there is no success good. Since he is the contagonist, doesn’t it have to fit in with his position in the story? (since his permission is the whole story, imho.)
The antagonist wants to force him to do it, and the MC wants permission. She eventually gets everyone’s permission to take the time to get his permission, even though time might run out. The MC wants to start a new world and way of doing things.
She listens to everyone’s concerns and works them out. If we’re going Gist wise, here, she’s the perfect secretary who keeps everything together and everyone informed, allowing for the group to accomplish the needful. (think Donna or Katrina of Suits)
he wants proof that what they say is true,
he wants proof of what happened to him
he wants to know what happened to the people that cheated him
all to prepare for his agenda of eventual revenge -
proof, which means that someone is going to be spending time (hindering) digging through the archives, coming up with the details for him. There will be some printouts of lost computer information in files, somewhere.
Okay! I get your vision now. Thanks for taking the time to spell it out. (The Donna reference was icing on the cake!)
I’m thinking Diane should put the following into MC UNIQUE ABILITY:
Not only does this fit the gist and the english definition of “permission”, it also fits the Dramatica term Permission meaning “what is allowed; ability limited by restrictions”. Well done!
For your other ideas about antagonist Lena and contagonist Clay, not sure if we should summarize those right into the doc under the characters, or in a separate notes section, or just keep them in mind as we come up with further story points. (Keep in mind Lena needs to work against “getting pregnant NOW”.)
Anyway, the others should feel free to chime in with their thoughts, but I think @Gregolas can move onto the next story point.
I probably shouldn’t be doing this this late at night, but i’m going to go with:
OS SIGNPOST 1: Seeing a Future World Ruled by Others
The last survivors in a post-apocalyptic world, being mostly infertile, believe the human race is nearing extinction, and yet they struggle on, seeing a future world ruled by the hoped for children of the post-apocalypse.
How’s that?
Done MC Unique Ability added.