Please note carefully that in the following, capitalized terms, such as "Concern" and "Issue" are Dramatica terms, while non-capitalized terms, such as "concern" and "issue" are everyday terms like you might use with a non-Dramatica friend.
This all looks way too much like Storytelling. I don't think there's much in here that can actually be used to find a Storyform. A concern for baseball isn't enough to choose a Concern. Whether or not the Yankees will win isn't enough to choose an Issue. And, I could and should present a similar sentence for most points that you've labelled with a Dramatica term.The thing is, none of the sentences in this list are really a proper encoding. Some come close, but there's not really any Dramatica-oriented information here.
Every facet of Dramatica should be used as a source of conflict, and should be encoded as such. What you've presented is a list of facts, but I don't see how any of them are a problem. There's no sense of how they lead to conflict or turmoil.
All that said, what you wrote for Focus and Direction for Jim actually look pretty good, especially since these are two of the most character-oriented items in Dramatica. Per those lines, it looks like you want Jim to believe the source of his own personal problems is his ignorance. Thus, to Jim, the correct solution would be to dig in and learn what he doesn't already know.
Well, this is mostly true, actually. Though, if you know enough of your story, that's where Dramatica can shine. Speaking to that, I'd really like to help you find a story form for what you want to write, if you'd allow me.
Based on your replies thus far, I'm guessing that your overall group is the baseball ecosystem: players, managers, fans, etc. It also seems that any conflict this group will experience, such as fights on the field, or maybe deliberations in a mangers office, or other possible conflict is a result of trying to win the pennant. Is this your intent?
Now we have some information about the turmoil that Jim is experiencing. By this, it seems that Jim's problems are the effects on his friendships, his relationships, his job, and similar things. It also looks like the source of this is his attempts to "crack open the world of power" and "reveal what this world really looks like". This is an excellent source of information to start building a Storyform.
So, here's my take on your story, thus far. Please correct anything that is wrong:
- Everyone in the baseball world is acting toward the goal of winning of the pennant.
- Jim's personal issues are loss: loss of relationships, of jobs, and possibly other things.
- Jim's personal issues are a result of his attempts to crack open and reveal the truth about power.
- Jim believes that these personal issues are due to his ignorance about baseball and NYC.
- Jim tries to solve his problems by digging in and speed-learning this unknown grit and detail.