My April Bet step 2

#1

This post was substantially altered March 22, '18

You may have seen my April bet.


It starts with having a well-illustrated story form. This will be the thread where I work on that. I am completely open to any and all advice any of you offer. I’m very, very much a noob when it comes to Dramatica, but I have a sincere desire to try to learn it.

Previous work on story: YA Supernatural Novel, help and guidance please

This is a Young Adult novel

Synopsis of story:

OS: Ragnarok is coming. The Norse gods (forthwith named “NG”) have come to earth as human babies to grow up and lead the armies of men in Armageddon. NG were born as humans with no power or knowledge that they are NG. That is because the mortal form may not be able to handle that knowledge and power. When they reach adulthood, NG are intended to quicken, thereby gaining their knowledge and power. Their only real protection before they quicken is that nobody knows where they are being born and since the earth has a population of over 7 billion, finding them would be worse than finding a needle in a haystack. Except, their enemy, the Dark Elf (forthwith known as TDE), has obtained a prophecy which will tell him where these incarnations are before they quicken. He is hunting them and killing them. The OS story is about figuring out how to stop TDE.

IC: Boone, the incarnation of Baldur, was attempting to prevent TDE from running away with the prophecy. Boone failed. His good friend, a professor of Norse archaeology who was attempting to translate the prophecy, was murdered by TDE. TDE could have killed Boone, but told him that Loki is destined to kill Boone. Boone suspects that someone near to him is a spy working for TDE, because TDE caught him rather quickly when Boone was trying to run away with the prophecy. Boone decides to get Loki’s help because Loki is a mastermind. But, because very few of the other NG trust Loki, Boone is shunned by most of the other NG. The other NG simply don’t want to be that close to Loki.

MC: Luke is a teen growing up in Colorado Springs. The story starts with him getting counseling. He must get counseling and do community service as a consequence of him having gone joy riding with a neighbor’s car. During the counseling, Luke talks about having watched his little step-brother fall through the ice on a frozen lake. Luke not only watched it, he was the one who found his step-brother’s body a few days later. The little boy had run out on the frozen lake to retrieve Luke’s baseball. Luke’s mother is no longer around. His step dad suffers from chronic depression which started after his boy died. There is a scene where Luke comes home after counseling, helps his drunk dad to bed, tucks the man into bed, and then Luke throws away a scholarship letter to college. Luke knows he can’t go to college. His step-dad needs him too much to be a nurse/aid. Luke feels like he must earn the right to live, he must somehow pay for the fact that his little step-brother died trying to get his baseball. And then Luke discovers that he is Loki.

Here’s the story form I will use

STORY ENGINE SETTINGS: “Novel Structure”

CHARACTER DYNAMICS:
MC RESOLVE: Change
MC GROWTH: Start
MC APPROACH: Be-er
MC PROBLEM-SOLVING STYLE: Holistic
IC RESOLVE: Steadfast

PLOT DYNAMICS:
DRIVER: Decision
LIMIT: Optionlock
OUTCOME: Success
JUDGMENT: Bad

INFLUENCE CHARACTER
(Boone)
DOMAIN: Situation
CONCERN: The Future
ISSUE: Openness vs. Preconception
PROBLEM: Conscience
SOLUTION: Temptation
SYMPTOM: Feeling
RESPONSE: Logic
UNIQUE ABILITY: Choice
CRITICAL FLAW: Hope
BENCHMARK: The Present
SIGNPOST 1: The Past
SIGNPOST 2: How Things are Changing
SIGNPOST 3: The Future
SIGNPOST 4: The Present

RELATIONSHIP
(The Relationship Story)
DOMAIN: Manipulation
CONCERN: Changing One’s Nature
ISSUE: Rationalization vs. Obligation
PROBLEM: Help
SOLUTION: Hinder
SYMPTOM: Feeling
RESPONSE: Logic
CATALYST: Responsibility
INHIBITOR: Self Interest
BENCHMARK: Conceiving an Idea
SIGNPOST 1: Developing a Plan
SIGNPOST 2: Playing a Role
SIGNPOST 3: Changing One’s Nature
SIGNPOST 4: Conceiving an Idea

OVERALL STORY
(The Overall Story)
DOMAIN: Activity
CONCERN: Obtaining
ISSUE: Approach vs. Attitude
PROBLEM: Consider
SOLUTION: Reconsider
SYMPTOM: Feeling
RESPONSE: Logic
CATALYST: Morality
INHIBITOR: Commitment
BENCHMARK: Gathering Information
SIGNPOST 1: Understanding
SIGNPOST 2: Obtaining
SIGNPOST 3: Gathering Information
SIGNPOST 4: Doing

MAIN CHARACTER
(Luke)
DOMAIN: Fixed Attitude
CONCERN: Innermost Desires
ISSUE: Closure vs. Denial
PROBLEM: Consider
SOLUTION: Reconsider
SYMPTOM: Avoidance
RESPONSE: Pursuit
UNIQUE ABILITY: Dream
CRITICAL FLAW: Delay
BENCHMARK: Contemplation
SIGNPOST 1: Memories
SIGNPOST 2: Impulsive Responses
SIGNPOST 3: Innermost Desires
SIGNPOST 4: Contemplation

ADDITIONAL STORY POINTS

GOAL: Obtaining
CONSEQUENCE: Changing One’s Nature
COST: The Future
DIVIDEND: Innermost Desires

REQUIREMENT: Gathering Information
PREREQUISITE: Conceiving an Idea
PRECONDITION: The Present
FOREWARNINGS: Contemplation

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#2

INFLUENCE CHARACTER
(Boone)
DOMAIN: Situation
An exploration of Boone and the other NG as gods with cosmic destinies
CONCERN: The Future
Boone is concerned about TDE murdering incarnates. If TDE isn’t stopped, then the NG will be soundly defeated during Ragnarok.
ISSUE: Openness vs. Preconception
Boone sets himself apart from the OS crew and becomes the IC by his desire to get Loki’s assistance, even though Loki is destined to kill Baldur
PROBLEM: Conscience
Baldur/Boone is okay with risking his personal safety by getting Luke’s help
SOLUTION: Temptation
Eventually, the NG rescue one of their own, Nana, from TDE. Boone and Nana fall in love. This gives Boone a more significant desire to live. It, therefore, affects his willingness to risk his life in Loki’s hands.
SYMPTOM: Feeling
UNKNOWN??
RESPONSE: Logic
When Boone decides to get Loki’s help, he is told by the other NG that they will shun him if they do so. They shun him because they fear Loki. Boone chooses to be shunned.
UNIQUE ABILITY: Choice
The choice to get Loki’s help
CRITICAL FLAW: Hope
The hope that he and Loki can somehow avoid the destiny of Boone’s death
BENCHMARK: The Present
The number of NG being killed by TDE
SIGNPOST 1: The Past
The appearance of Boone in Luke’s life most significantly influences Luke’s understanding of his past, in particular the death of Luke’s little brother, Jason.
Wisdom
Skill
Experience
Enlightenment
SIGNPOST 2: How Things are Changing
Having discovered that Luke has not yet quickened and, therefore, has no access to divine knowledge or power, Boone begins Luke’s training. But, Luke must learn to let go and trust his impulsive reactions.
Self Interest
Morality
Attitude
Approach
SIGNPOST 3: The Future
Prerequisites
Strategy
Analysis
Preconditions
SIGNPOST 4: The Present
Instinct
Senses
Interpretation
Conditioning
[/quote]

1 Like
#3

I’m having a lot of trouble seeing Conscience in this illustration. It’s usually about abstaining from something … this almost seems the opposite, like he’s taking advantage of the benefit of Luke’s help despite the danger.

I wonder if there’s some other aspect of Conscience that is driving Boone, and more importantly, influencing Luke in the area of Conscience. Is Boone driven to “do the right thing” or to follow his scruples? Is he driven by the idea that they need to give Loki a chance, because it’s the right thing to do? Does he try to get Luke to “do the right thing” by entering the war, even though Luke doesn’t want to?

Alternately, does he want to stop TDE so badly (perhaps out of revenge) that he’s driven to ignore his conscience and recruit Luke despite the danger to everyone involved?

#4

Dramatica defines “Conscience” as “forgoing an immediate benefit because of future consequences.” Baldur is foregoing an immediate benefit (relative safety) because of future consequences (TDE killing NG).

Boone is being completely utilitarian.

exactly

1 Like
#5

My strategy for when I’m not sure on a Dramatica term (any time I have to look up the definition counts as not being sure) is to look over the entire gist list for that term. Then, if my illustration doesn’t have quite the same feel as the gists, it’s a good indication that something might be wrong.

Now, yours is probably fine because there is definitely something in the Conscience-Temptation area going on there. But, looking over the gists and the full definition, I figured out what was bugging me. The immediate benefit one is forgoing due to conscience should be desired. From the full definition:

Conscience is the motivation that negative consequences are unavoidable if a present desire is acted upon. Conscience can serve a character well in overcoming strong transient desires that would bring disasters upon him.

So, I think to make it work you would show that Boone’s present desire for safety is much stronger than his present desire to catch TDE. But he’s overriding that present desire through conscience – his expectation of future consquences if he doesn’t catch TDE.

My issue was, I didn’t see Boone quite like that – it seemed like he really badly wanted to catch TDE, and didn’t care so much about his safety. BUT I might have misunderstood – only you know your story.

Cool! I’m glad that works because it totally jives with how I saw Boone’s character (and definitely fits Conscience).

#6

Wondering if you may have actually encoded the Symptom of Feeling there already. He sees fear or “feeling afraid” as a problem, and thinks the other NGs are basing their assessments too much on fear. (He may even be afraid himself of what Loki might do, but he thinks to base his actions on such fear is wrong.)

Another idea, perhaps he gets Luke to focus on his feelings as part of uncovering his wyrd? Like maybe his emotional pain is blocking him somehow? In this case the symptom would be like “Luke’s not in touch with his feelings enough” or even “I need to get Luke to uncover his emotional pain before he’ll be able to access his wyrd”. Just spitballing there.

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#7

Yeah, I like that. Boone is focused on Luke’s fear. Of course, if I understand literary theory accurately, the best foil for a character is someone with similar demons. So, while Boone is aware of Luke’s fear, he’s in denial about his own.

1 Like